Saturday, June 11, 2011

May We Have The Twitter Addiction Envelope Please: And the Weiner Is...

As evidenced by the oft re-tweeted member of New York's own member of Congress, @RepWeiner, there is no question that Twitter Addiction is on the rise (as was said member).  Try as we might, we can no longer remain flaccid whilst the Twitterverse stands aroused by this latest battle of the (Congressman's) bulge.  As Congressman's Weiner proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, Twitter Addiction is hard.

An Award From The Ward

With all the media atwitter with the sordid deets of Representative Weiner's Tweets, the size and scope of the matter was not lost on the staff at INVITATIONS.  When the highly trained doctors and therapists here gathered in the West Wing of the Scoble Ward to discuss nominations for the guest of honor keynote at this year's annual Intervention Convention, there was only one unanimous choice: Anthony Weiner.  Who better to be invited to speak to a crowd of loyal followers only to find themselves the object of a massive intervention? If that won't spank the monkey on the Congressman's back, nothing will.

Case Clothed

While we hope that Congressman Weiner will take our INVITATIONS intervention invitation to heart, understanding that he may still be in the denial stages of his disease, the staff at INVITATIONS has compiled a few steps from the "140 Steps To Cure Twitter Addiction" that may be helpful to the Congressman as he softly embarks on a road to recovery:

  • Step 1 - Do NOT touch a computer or mobile phone unless fully clothed.
  • Step 2 - Do NOT Tweet with one hand.... ever!
  • Step 3 - Do NOT send out a Tweet that you would not happily recite to your wife and/or Nancy Pelosi.

These are just a few small steps that may help prevent any Twitter boners in the future...

What additional steps would you recommend for the Congressman?

(Editor's Note: Trying to fight my addiction, as an INVITATIONS outpatient I have resisted the urge to post here since the end of last year, but alas, it is too out of character for me to resist the appeal of 140 characters.  More importantly, on behalf of the staff here at INVITATIONS I am compelled to think of the greater good and once again promote our services as the nation's first, and leading Social Networking Addiction Recovery facility.  In other words, "I'm Baaaack!")  

Photo Credit: Kerioak -

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