Social Networking Rehab: Feed Your Addiction With A Phoney Twitter

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Feed Your Addiction With A Phoney Twitter

Virtually all of the Twitter Addicts we treat here at INVITATIONS have a mobile phone and use their phones to check in with Twitter. Ideally, we would like to therefore confiscate their phones upon arrival, however for various insurance and liability reasons we are not able to leave our visitors disconnected from their world outside of the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility. Fortunately, many of our "customers" have iPhones and thanks to AT&T their ability to get a decent network connection is sufficiently borked to limit their on-site tweeting while in recovery. For the non-iPhone patients, we have put strict limitations on their mobile phone use.

THE "DM" METHOD

In an effort to ease the pain of being weaned from Twitter, and preventing the sometimes serious side effects of twithdrawal, our own Dr. Dierichter Meisinger (known among the patients as "DM") has postulated that personalizing one's phone with Twitter related ringtones and wallpaper images can serve as sublimation for actually using Twitter on their phones. To prove his theory, Dr. Meisinger has assembled a collection of Twitter ringtones and wallpapers that we regularly use here at INVITATIONS. Patients following the DM method hear a Twitter song every time their phone rings, feeding their "need for Tweed" and reducing their desire to shirk all other worldly responsibilities in favor of their 140 character communications. It is still early in the study, but initial results seem promising.

YOU CAN PLAY ALONG AT HOME

As a courtesy and public service, we are making these twitterized mobile phone goodies available to you here, so that you can begin treating your own addictions by using the DM Method at home. Please use with care.

(Note: The ringtones and wallpapers below are made available via Myxer, where I work when I am not acting as proprietor of INVITATIONS. Click "Preview" to hear any of the ringtones.)