Sunday, July 3, 2011

Social Media Addiction Update: Google + and MySpace Minus

Most businesses rely on supply and demand, and the Social Networking Rehab business is no different. Fortunately, with the continued growth of Twitter, Facebook and other social networks, there has been no shortage of needy patients to fill the beds at INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere social networking recovery facility. For the past four years we have helped countless geeks and early adopters beat their need to tweet and revoke their desire to poke. Our highly trained staff has mastered the 140 steps needed for rehabilitation from the scourge of Social Networking addiction. However, we are presently faced with a new challenge putting stress on the status update... There's a new drug in town, and it's being spread by an all-powerful dealer who already has its runners and gang members on the digital corners of everyone's neighborhood. The new addiction is to something bigger than even the behemoth Google. The new addiction is Google +.

Pluses and Minuses

Google + is already running circles around the other addictive social networks. Formerly reformed Social Networking addicts such as Robert Scoble and Chris Brogan have already been spotted spending hours huddling and hanging out in the digital alleyways of Google +. The seductive allure of G+ invitations via Gmail have lured countless others to throw caution to the wind and take a toke of the "G", just to "see what it's like..." Some are inhaling more than others. Some have already succumbed wholeheartedly to the perils of Google + and have been found wandering aimlessly through the Interwebs, leaving a sloppy trail of +1's in their self-destructive path. Interventions are already leading to applications for a stint of Social Networking Rehab. Beds at INVITATIONS are in high demand.

Making Space

Fortunately, we have good news for early adopters needing a little less "+." Due to a steady decline in patients suffering from MySpace addiction, the staff at INVITATIONS has decided to permanently close the MySpace wing and re-open it with a new program fully dedicated to serving patients whose over-dependence on Google + has become a minus in other aspects of their professional and personal lives. The opening of the Google + treatment program at INVITATIONS is already making waves in rehab circles and causing quite a buzz. If you, or someone you care about, is in denial about a Google + dependency, help is now just an INVITATION away.

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