Day 366: The Year In Rehab Review

"They tried to make me go to Rehab, I said "No, No, No..."

-- Amy Winehouse


"They said I needed Twitter Rehab, I said "Yes, Yes, Yes!"

-- Jeffrey Sass

It has been a full year since I admitted myself to the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility. Several thousand tweets later I am still here. Wiser? Yes. Less addicted? Well...

A year ago there was the just the Twittergram. Today there are numerous services that put Twitter on steroids: Seesmic, Utterz, TwitPic, Qik, 12Seconds, and many more all seamlessly connect rich media to Twitter, creating a veritable social media speedball! Temptation is everywhere. And that is without even mentioning Facebook and Friendfeed! What's an addict to do???

IN THE BEGINNING...

How did I end up here? It all started with this video I posted to Facebook a year ago:





Having finally admitted I had a problem, I started on a 28 day journey that has lasted a year... I was fortunate to find INVITATIONS after getting rejected by PROMISES in Malibu for not being a Celebrity.

One of my first tasks after being admitted to rehab was to help produce a Public Service Announcement to promote INVITATIONS, and spread the word about the evils of Social Networking addiction.

Here is the PSA from last year:




Remember QUECHUP? It didn't matter if it was a scam or just spam, it was crushed by a community wide kabosh. If we only knew then what we know now. Although Twitter-bots and Twitter spam may now be on the rise, spam is only one of the Perils of using Twitter, as highlighted in another PSA:



So here I am, entering my second year of rehab with callouses on my Twitter fingers and a cap on the number of folks I can follow. Is that going to stop me from imbibing in my social media?

No way!

Day 342: Really Quitting Twitter

That's it. I have been in and out of the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility for nearly a year and I have yet to be able to beat this addiction. Group therapy, medication, sensory deprivation treatments, acupuncture, dial-up Internet access... nothing seems to work. After a heated discussion with my Social Networking Shrink we have come to the only logical conclusion: I must really quit Twitter "Cold Turkey!"

STEP ONE: EMPTY THE DRAWERS & CABINETS...

If I was trying to quit smoking I would rid the house of cigarrettes... If I was trying to stop drinking I would rid the house of alcohol. Since I must quit Twitter I have to rid the house of Twitter clients. Easier said than done...

Desktop and Laptop Computers: I uninstalled TwitBin, Snitter, Twhirl, Tweetdeck and OutTwit...

Treo 755p: I removed bookmarks to m.twitter.com and Slandr...

iPod Touch: I deleted Twitterific, Twinkle, Twitter, iTweet, Hahlo, MeTweets, Summize/Twitter Search, Twittelator and Twittervision...

There. Done.

OUT OF SITE, NOT OUT OF MIND...

But wait. I may be able to remove Twitter from my devices, but I can't remove Twitter from my mind:

I wake up in the morning and wonder where @jeffpulver is having breakfast...

I sip my East Coast morning coffee envisioning @techcrunch still up, Tweeting away after having pulled yet another all-nighter in favor of a breaking tech story...

I wonder if @jchutchins is saying "Welcome Up" or if @scobleizer has posted another tweet about the conversation on Friendfeed... in shades of Louis Gray...

At night I dream in 140 characters or less...

During the day I fantasize... Is @davewiner whining? Is @jasoncalacanis saying Aloha or Mahalo? Does @NickStarr still like boys? What size shoe does @zappos wear?

I snack on @pistachio nuts and write lists of 100 helpful Tweets I would send to @chrisbrogan if I were only on Twitter...

I even write poetry:

AN ODE TO QUITTING TWITTER
by Jeffrey Sass

I tried to quit Twitter and do it Cold Turkey,
My fingers now jitter and my hands are all jerky.

I don't see how I will ever land on my feet,
If I must pass my days without a single Tweet.

I wonder what all my friends are thinking,
Who are they "@-ing"... where are they linking?

I'm feeling depressed, it's more than I can swallow,
No Tweeple to love, no people to follow.

I miss the Fail Whale, my life is in the shitter...
How can I go on without any Twitter???

Uh-oh, the night orderly is here with my meds... gotta go. If you had to quit Twitter "Cold Turkey" how would you do it?



Photo Credit: Bozworthington - Fotolia.com

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