Top 10 Reasons I Am STILL Addicted To Twitter (and Social Networking)

Hello, my name is Jeff and lo and behold, I am still an addict...

It has been a while since I've written here.  Mostly because I thought I was cured. I thought I had kicked the habit.  I thought I was safely on the wagon.  I thought my character had advanced beyond the need for 140 characters.  I thought my status had been elevated above the need to constantly update my status.  I thought I could wait for the DVD to see THE SOCIAL NETWORK.  I thought I was strong enough to resist temptation, to turn down the inviting lure of the Twittersphere... to face-off against Facebook... but alas, I was wrong.

As the decade of social networking decadence winds down, I find myself back in need of a visit to Social Networking Rehab.  To prepare myself for a fresh start in 2011, I am in need of another visit to INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility...  I came to understand my need for an intervention as I reflected upon the year past and discovered, much to my own chagrin...

THE TOP 10 REASONS I AM STILL ADDICTED TO TWITTER (and SOCIAL NETWORKING)

10. When booking a hotel room recently, I asked if the HOOTSUITE was available.

9.  Every-time I hear that there has been an earthquake somewhere in the world I wonder how strong it was on the SEESMIC scale (and I am in awe that @Loic has time to study Geology and run LeWeb...)

8.  When filling out a loan application and they asked for "NET WORTH" I entered my KLOUT score.

7.  I have 50 Apps on my Android phone, and 25 of them are TWITTER CLIENTS.

6. When I order potatoes at a restaurant I insist that they must be MASHABLE.

5. I have come to believe that my middle initial is "@" (Jeff @Sass)

4. I have seen the FAIL WHALE more times than there are pages in MOBY DICK.

3. When I want to know where my kids are and what they are doing, I go to their FACEBOOK pages first.

2.  I look for a "LIKE" button on items on the shelves at brick and mortar stores.

And the #1 Reason I am still addicted to Twitter and Social Networking...

1. I can't stop refreshing TWITTER to see how many times this post has been re-tweeted!

How about you?  Are you STILL addicted to Twitter and Social Networking???

Photo Credit: © Vladir09 - Fotolia.com, © fizzgig - Fotolia.com

A Twitter Addict Takes The First Step...

I'm Jeff an I'm an addict. My drug of choice? Real-time data and the devices I use to suck in constant digital streams of data like so many virtual intravenous drips in the digital tubes that feed my my need.  Since I am an addict I behave like one, and thus I have let you down, you, my cohorts in Crime, my fellow social networking junkies... past, present and future patients of INVITATIONS.

How have I let you down?  First off, I have been neglecting this blog, selfishly feeding my own addictions, checking out of here while checking in to Foursquare and Gowalla.  Tweeting and re-tweeting instead of sharing with you here.  In December I invited you to contribute to a collection of 140 steps to cure your Social Media addiction, and many of you indeed did step up and share your tips for tackling Twitter.  Here are a few of your suggestions:

@mhillaert: I do have an addiction... and when I need to take a break, I have my friend hide my phone somewhere I will not be able to find it. That's the only way I can say good-bye for any significant period of time :)

@metzgerbusiness: Get a wife who calls you a dork and annoying for posting too often. Then do as I do - smile at her and post a comment about your wife thinking you're annoying for posting too many comments.

@stevegarfield: Travel somewhere with limited connectivity so you can realize that you don't need to be connected all the time. In Ireland you can go to a pub, enjoy a nice cold Guinness, and not check in on foursquare. You don't have to take a photo of the beer, and upload the photo to flickr, twitter and Yelp! You'll live without social media.

@alohalavina: No pockets to carry a phone when at the beach and no ringing allowed at the golf course. I have a great tan as a result.

These are all great ways to combat Social Media and Twitter addiction one Tweet at a time, but they are a long way from 140 Steps...

Please continue to add your steps to this post and as soon as I reach 140 Steps I will publish the ebook!  (Promise!) The fate of the Twitterverse is in your hands!  Together we can make a difference (or at least Tweet about it!)

Photo Credit: © fizzgig - Fotolia.com

140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction

12 steps are clearly not enough to address the ravages of Social Networking Addiction. With mobile phones placing Twitter and Facebook in our pockets, and everyone we ever associated with from grade school to grad school now friending and tweeting us 24/7 with all things arcane, mundane and inane, it is virtually impossible to escape the allure of the drug we call "Social Networking." 12 Steps - the traditional guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery - may work for substance abuse, but they can't hold a ceremonial candle to the substantial abuse that is Social Networking addiction.

YOUR INVITATION FOR HELP

For several years now the staff at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Recovery facility, have recognized that the original 12 steps were challenged when it comes to Social Media. For example, Step 8, "Make a list of all the persons we harmed with our addiction..." was great until Twitter added the new LISTS feature. Once our patients started using Twitter Lists to create lists of the folks their addiction affected "Step 8" lost some of its healing luster. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, patients who thought @Scobleizer was their higher power were devastated when he went and unfollowed everyone, cutting the cult of Scoble off at the knees. We may be able to admit we are powerless over Social Networking and that our lives have become unmanageable, but we need more than 12 steps to lead us to the light. We need 140 steps to cure Social Networking Addiction, and we need your help to develop them.

STEP UP AND ADD A STEP!

Who better to develop a 140 step program than the folks who will benefit the most from it. Who better to define the cure than those suffering from the disease. Who better to help me come up with 140 clever and witty steps to a clean, social networking free existence than those whose very existence is dominated by social media. That's right, YOU!

If you are in need of Social Networking Rehab, you can join in and help us create the definitive 140 Step Program. Please add your suggested step in the comments. Between now and the end of the year we will be collecting, reviewing and testing your steps on the patients at INVITATIONS. Then, in January 2010, we will ring in the New Year by publishing an eBook detailing "140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction" with the best of your submissions.

What steps are you taking to cure your Social Networking habit??? Please share them in the comments and you will have the chance to be included in the eBook next year! If you have friends who are addicted (and you know you do) please share this and ask them to contribute their "Steps" too!

UPDATE: We have released a new PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT video, with some steps recommended by some of you at a recent Miami TweetUp.

Photo Credit: © chinti - Fotolia.com

The 7 Phases Of Twitter: A Chronology

If you are reading this, there is a good chance you, too, are addicted to Twitter. Why else would you be visiting something called Social Networking Rehab? If you came here because of a link in a Tweet, or a Facebook Status message you are even more deserving of a 28 day stay at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Rehab Facility. You may want to take a moment to fill out an application.

TWITTER: A VICIOUS CYCLE

While for some of you Twitter may be your latest vice, many of the Twitterholics who have visited INVITATIONS have been around since the beginning and have been good Twittizens for several years. Over time it seems that our addiction takes us through a cycle of Twitter usage that represents the full circle of 140 character fixes. The therapists here at INVITATIONS have coined this cycle "The 7 Phases of Twitter" and herewith is a brief timeline of the 7 steps that may lead to your need for 12 steps!

THE 7 PHASES OF TWITTER:

Phase One: "What Are You Doing?
Your earliest Tweets, wherein we attempt to turn plain into pithy...

Example Tweet: "I am eating tuna fish on rye."

Phase Two: "The Announcement"
In this stage we realize that Twitter can be used to broadcast our other inane activities...

Example Tweet: "Hey, read my blog, will ya? www.mystupidblog.blogspot.com/readitwillya"

Phase Three: "The Conversation"
When other folks start replying to our inanities, we move to this stage and start @replying, boring the rest of the Twittersphere with the ability to follow only one half of a conversation...

Example Tweet: "@soandso Lol. Yeah, I agree! ;-)"

Phase Four: "The Missing Link"
WOW. Just because we are limited to 140 characters doesn't mean we can't link EVERYWHERE! Thanks TinyUrl, Bit.ly, etc...

Example Tweet: "Cool Site with cool stuff! http://tinyurl.com/fbrehab"

Phase Five: "Smokin' Hashtags"
As if sharing links weren't enough to make Twitter de.licio.us, we soon realize we can one-up URL shorteners and add searchable #hastags to our tweets!

Example Tweet: "Cool. I am going fishing today. #fishing #iloveboats #waterboundhookers"

Phase 6: "The Re-Tweet"
Why rely on our own cleverness when we are a click away from using someone else's wit for our own Twit!

Example Tweet: "RT @sass The 7 Phases of Twitter! (Awesome,, but why am I re-tweeting myself?)"

Phase 7: "What are you doing?"
And of course, after experimenting with broadcasting, conversating, sharing links, hashing things out, and spreading the word of others, we come back full circle to the simplicity of where it all started...

Example Tweet: "Wondering if I should Tweet that I am eating tuna fish on rye..."

Which phase are you in? Are there additional phases that should be added to the cycle?

Photo Credit: © Milos Willing - Fotolia.com

Doctors Announce First Successful Human FACEBOOK Transplant

(Palo Alto, California) May 25, 2009. A team of doctors and surgeons from the nation's leading medical institutions have joined forces to perform the world's first human Facebook transplant, it was announced today by Dr. Prayim Fomofriends, lead surgeon on the procedure. Dr. Fomofriends, on loan from the prestigious Mayo Naise Clinic in Boise, Idaho, called the groundbreaking surgery an undeniable success. The patient, who's identity is being kept confidential in accordance with prevailing Internet privacy policies, is recuperating at an undisclosed location, rumored to be INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility.

FROM FACES TO FACEBOOK

While to date there have been two well documented and successful human face transplants, this marks the first time doctors have successfully transplanted a Facebook account from one person to another, including all friends, news feeds, groups, and even such delicate details such as the Fun Wall and other inane applications. The patient is expected to recover fully and regain, in time, complete use of the new Facebook account, including poking, and eventually, the ability to update statuses, even from a mobile phone or linked Twitter account. The donor, who has elected to remain anonymous, is said to be a former "A-List" blogger who amassed a Facebook following of the maximum 5,000 friends and then became disillusioned by the limitation. In a prepared statement the donor commented, "I am just grateful that my so-called friends can now be put to good use in the account of someone who really needs them. I wish more people would consider becoming organization donors."

PROTESTING THE PROCEDURE

While the procedure has been heralded by some as a true medical breakthrough and an example of the future of cosmetic social surgery, as with anything controversial the transplant also has its detractors. Protesters have already gathered outside of the INVITATIONS recovery facility with signs claiming, "IF GOD HAD WANTED US TO TRANSPLANT OUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED PASSWORDS." Ironically, there are already several groups on Facebook that have been formed to rally against the medical community and denounce the transplanting of accounts. When interviewed, the leader of one of the protest groups, who refused to reveal his identity, stated, "This surgery is sacrilege! What's next? Surgically altering Twitter to allow messages of more than 140 characters??? Where do we draw the line???"

THE FACE(BOOK) OF THINGS TO COME

At a press conference held outside Facebook headquarters, Dr. Fomofriends was accompanied by a family member of the patient who tearfully stated, "Thanks to these amazing doctors, my unnamed relative can look forward to a full life ahead, rich with friends and a Facebook account they can hold high and be proud of. No more gawking and pointing at their weak and tattered account. No more pity pokes. It is truly a miracle!" Although the entire procedure was captured via Qik on Dr. Fomofriend's jail broken iPhone, because of the graphic nature of the surgery, it has not been decided if the images will be made publicly available. However, the patient has said they do plan to post everything to their new Facebook account once they are fully healed.

For more information about the surgery, or to place yourself on a waiting list for the procedure, please contact Dr. Prayim Fomofriends, care of INVITATIONS, or add your name in comment section for this article.

Photo Credit: © Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com

Beware Of Fake Twitter Addicts!

As Twitter has hit the mainstream, everyone from Actors such as Ashton Kutcher to TV personalities with only first names such as Oprah and Ellen to Politicians such as the Governator and his lovely wife Maria Shriver have all now become good Twittizens. They have joined the ranks of Shaq and Scoble, to smell like a Kevin Rose and whine like a Vaynerchuk, 140 characters at a time. All these characters are welcome additions to the social networking community, and should any of them fall prey to the siren song of constant status updates and find themselves "addicted" to Twitter, they will not have to worry as we have recently launched a celebrity wing at INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Rehab Facility.

NOT ALL TWEEPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL

While there are some celebrity Twittizens who are legitimately in need of Social Networking Rehab, the staff at INVITATIONS has been inundated with a rash of applications from some more dubious tweeters, claiming to be in need of help dealing with the pressures of maintaining their tens of thousands of followers, while at the same time engaging in, shall we say, less than sincere social networking practices. This behavior is not unlike someone "admitting" to having used marijuana, and then saying they never inhaled. Who would ever make such ridiculous claims???

The mission of INVITATIONS is to help those truly in need, and we have no patience to accept patients who are actually bot-bearing, auto-following, link-baiting, self-proclaimed "gurus." With that in mind, we have prepared a simple checklist to help you avoid inadvertently aiding a false addict:

TOP 10 WAYS TO IDENTIFY A FAKE TWITTER ADDICT

10. The words "SEO", "MONEY", "CASH", "PROFITS" or "WEIGHTLOSS" are part of their Twitter name...

9. You receive an immediate DM when you follow them back.

8. The DM you receive links to their SCAM, er, blog or website.

7. They follow thousands, have thousands of suckers, er, folks following them back, and they have posted 0 updates.

6. If they have posted updates, 99.9% of them contain a link to the same website or blog.

5. The only @replies they have are to other accounts they own ("self tweetillation" or "masturbatory tweeting.")

4. They NEVER Re-Tweet.

3. They Tweet about gaining 1,000's of followers "overnight" (and will show YOU how!)

2. Their profile image is a Dollar $ign.

And the number one way to identify a Fake Twitter Addict:

1. You end up HERE when you look for their Twitter profile!

How about you? Have you encountered any "fake" twitter addicts? If so, please tell us how you identified them in the comments!

Photo Credit: © Fullvalue - Fotolia.com

Day 484: Put Your Twitter Addiction To Good Use!

A Public Service Announcement:




For more information about @wellwishes, @tipjoy and how you can contribute $2.00 and feed your Twitter addiction at the same time, please visit Pistachio Consulting.

Special Thanks to Chris Heuer, Kristie Wells, Alex DeCarvalho, Alex Harris and everyone at the Social Media Club South Florida who participated in this PSA.

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• Frozen Peas Public Service Announcement:

Day 342: Really Quitting Twitter

That's it. I have been in and out of the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility for nearly a year and I have yet to be able to beat this addiction. Group therapy, medication, sensory deprivation treatments, acupuncture, dial-up Internet access... nothing seems to work. After a heated discussion with my Social Networking Shrink we have come to the only logical conclusion: I must really quit Twitter "Cold Turkey!"

STEP ONE: EMPTY THE DRAWERS & CABINETS...

If I was trying to quit smoking I would rid the house of cigarrettes... If I was trying to stop drinking I would rid the house of alcohol. Since I must quit Twitter I have to rid the house of Twitter clients. Easier said than done...

Desktop and Laptop Computers: I uninstalled TwitBin, Snitter, Twhirl, Tweetdeck and OutTwit...

Treo 755p: I removed bookmarks to m.twitter.com and Slandr...

iPod Touch: I deleted Twitterific, Twinkle, Twitter, iTweet, Hahlo, MeTweets, Summize/Twitter Search, Twittelator and Twittervision...

There. Done.

OUT OF SITE, NOT OUT OF MIND...

But wait. I may be able to remove Twitter from my devices, but I can't remove Twitter from my mind:

I wake up in the morning and wonder where @jeffpulver is having breakfast...

I sip my East Coast morning coffee envisioning @techcrunch still up, Tweeting away after having pulled yet another all-nighter in favor of a breaking tech story...

I wonder if @jchutchins is saying "Welcome Up" or if @scobleizer has posted another tweet about the conversation on Friendfeed... in shades of Louis Gray...

At night I dream in 140 characters or less...

During the day I fantasize... Is @davewiner whining? Is @jasoncalacanis saying Aloha or Mahalo? Does @NickStarr still like boys? What size shoe does @zappos wear?

I snack on @pistachio nuts and write lists of 100 helpful Tweets I would send to @chrisbrogan if I were only on Twitter...

I even write poetry:

AN ODE TO QUITTING TWITTER
by Jeffrey Sass

I tried to quit Twitter and do it Cold Turkey,
My fingers now jitter and my hands are all jerky.

I don't see how I will ever land on my feet,
If I must pass my days without a single Tweet.

I wonder what all my friends are thinking,
Who are they "@-ing"... where are they linking?

I'm feeling depressed, it's more than I can swallow,
No Tweeple to love, no people to follow.

I miss the Fail Whale, my life is in the shitter...
How can I go on without any Twitter???

Uh-oh, the night orderly is here with my meds... gotta go. If you had to quit Twitter "Cold Turkey" how would you do it?



Photo Credit: Bozworthington - Fotolia.com

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• Qwitter

Day 235: Twitter Addiction is a UNIVERSAL Problem!

I recently attended a "Tweet-Up" (which is a fancy way of saying a "Twitterholics Anonymous" meeting). Typically I attend as many such gatherings as I can in order to recruit those in need of rehab. At this particular meeting, held at a secret location, I was quite surprised by the motley crew of Twitter loyalists gathered to pay tribute to that seductive siren, who calls to them 140 characters at time. Clearly, Twitter addiction impacts all walks of life... on this planet and beyond...



Special thanks to patients Todd Van Hoosear, John Keyes, and the Aliens.

Send this video to your phone. Text "JeffSass Borg" to 69937 (MYXER) or click the widget below:

More from JWS at Myxer

Day 191: 10 Ways To Handle Quitting Twitter Cold Turkey!

Whether your doctor has told you to cut out Social Networking, or you are just faced with feeling down because (once again) Twitter is down, here are some things you can do to satisfy your urges while "off Twitter." All of these methods have been carefully devised by the highly trained staff at the INVITATIONS Social Networking Recovery Facility.

10 Ways To Ease The Pain of Quitting Twitter Cold Turkey:

1) Eat lots of Peas!

2) Refer to all your cubicle mates, friends and family by "@" Firstname.

3) Buy a pet bird (to keep Tweeting for you).

4) Limit your email messages to 140 characters and make believe they are Tweets.

5) Send SMS messages to yourself describing the meal you just ate.

6) Convert every URL in your browser history into a shorter URL with TinyUrl... then try to guess which TinyUrl connects to what website... just for fun!

7) Print little stickers of your Twitter avatar and PeaVatar and use them in lieu of stamps on all your snail mail. What is "Snail Mail" you ask? Nevermind.

8) Refer to your favorite candy as a SNITTER bar.

9) Call your physician and ask if he can write you a referral for a TweetScan.

10) Go to SXSW since EVERYONE on Twitter will be there and you can actually talk instead of Tweet!

Of course, if the above suggestions still leave you with pangs of Twitter desire, you can apply for admission to a TweeTox program at INVITATIONS.

"When Twitter is offline our staff is on duty!"

Please add your own Twitter Withdrawal suggestions in the comments, and take the new poll on the sidebar!

Day 127: Breakfast of ChamPEAons!

As my 28 days of Social Networking Rehab have become 127, it is clear that 12 steps is a much greater distance than it sounds like. In the old days, a guy would walk a mile for a Camel. Today, I'd walk a lot farther than that to find a decent Internet connection to check my Twitter and Facebook accounts!

"Social Networks are the new Nicotine and Twitter is my favorite brand of smokes!"

THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS

As proven by the popularity of PodCamps, BarCamps, TweetUps, Social Media Breakfasts and other "events," it seems that those of us who are truly addicted to Social Networking like to hang out together (mostly to compare digital cameras, Blackberries and mobile phones as we Twitter, Seesmic and Utterz "live" to everyone else who is NOT there).

But Social Networking Addiction is not always a bad thing. In addition to keeping the staff at INVITATIONS gainfully employed, social networking addicts, by nature of their close and constant connections, are perfectly positioned to join forces and rally for a cause. If we are going to fall off the wagon, we might as well join the bandwagon! And join the bandwagon we did! (and for a very worthy cause)

GOING GREEN IS NOT AN AL GORE EXCLUSIVE!

Peas. Peas, not global warming, is the cause that has caused the greening of Twitter. At this point, if you don't know what I am talking about you are either a pea-brain, or you are clearly not enough of a social networking addict to be considered for admission to rehab at INVITATIONS. (Okay, I apologize for the pea-brain comment. That was uncalled for - hey, I'm an addict, AND I can't resist a corny pun... It is GOOD if you didn't know what I was talking about beforehand, because NOW you do! Please forgive me and read on...)

Peas have become Twitter's pink ribbon of support for those facing the challenges of cancer, inspired by a fellow Twittizen, Susan Reynolds (@susanreynolds) and her own unexpected breast cancer diagnosis earlier this month. The frozen peas Susan used to comfort herself physically have become the symbolic peas we have added to our Twitter avatars (Pea-Vatars) to comfort Susan in other ways.

With peas on the brain (I guess I am the pea brain!) the INVITATIONS Social Networking Recovery Facility is pleased to be the sponsor of a new "Pea-S-A" Public Service Announcement, shot on location at the RASCAL HOUSE in Sunny Isles Beach, Florida. Thanks to fine Twittizens Jeff Pulver (@jeffpulver), Florian Seroussi (@florianseroussi), Steven Buehler (@revtriste) and Jonathan Gluck (@JonGluck) for their apPEArance in the segment.

And please, after watching the Pea-S-A, visit www.frozenpeafund.com and see how you can contribute. Pretty peas?




Video By Jeffrey Sass. Peas in a Spoon photo by Ashley Whitworth, Fotolia.com

Send This Video to your PHONE! Text "JEFFSASS PeaSA" to 69937 (MYXER) or click below:

More videos from JWS at Myxer!

Day 113: Twitter Withdrawal? Register for help here!

Last Friday may have been the day that lives in Infamy, but today is the day that may cause serious pain for a lot of otherwise happy Twittizens. Why? As noted in the screenshot above, Twitter will be down for 12 HOURS!!! (UPDATE: The planned outage was a non-event and re-scheduled for Sunday, December 16...)

Holy Withdrawal Pains Batman, what's an addict to do???

It is ironic that this planned Twitter outage comes only days after Jeremiah Owyang caused a TwitPlosion of activity with his provocative blog post entitled "Some Conversations Have Shifted To Twitter." This shifty blog entry, with more than 400 comments from Twittizens desperately seeking more followers, has perhaps unintentionally made the honorable Jeremiah one of our generation's leading enablers of Twitter addiction.

Help Is On The Way! Get Your INVITATION!

The marketing brains here at INVITATIONS realize that this "twouble with twitter" may cause an unusually high demand for Social Networking Rehabilitation services this weekend. With that in mind we are hosting an Open House today and will be accepting any and all applications for admission to the INVITATIONS Clinic.

Our Patient Registration Form is below. Please click on it to view, download and print a copy. You may Fax your completed form to (484) 737-5174. While all applications will be accepted during today's Open House, beds will be assigned on a first come, first served basis.

As a professional courtesy, we have already set aside the Invitations "Presidential" and "Royal" suites for Jeff Pulver and Doug Haslam.

Read this doc on Scribd: INVITATIONS FORM b

UPDATE: It is Saturday at 4:10pm EST and Twitter has yet to go down. Despite the numerous countdowns and refreshes by the faithful addicts, it appears the rumors of Twitter's temporary demise were greatly exaggerated!

Day 107: Get Your INVITATION! The Steps to Social Networking Rehab

Clearly my rehabilitation is not going well. 28 days has turned into 107 and I am still battling my Social Networking Addiction. The good news is that I am not alone. The beds at INVITATIONS are full, and the waiting list for admittance is growing faster than a line of geeks at an Apple store the night before a new product release.

GETTING PULVER-IZED

I was recently in Boston and had the chance to attend one of Jeff Pulver's Real-Time Social Networking events. With "live" human poking and tagging and everyone wearing Name Tags with their Twitter or Facebook names, this might as well have been an official SNAA (Social Networking Addicts Anonymous) meeting. Of course, by definition, a group of SOCIAL networkers are hardly anonymous! With Jeff P as the fearless leader, the event was an outstanding recruitment vehicle for INVITATIONS. Camera in-hand, I seized the moment to interview a number of folks who are ripe for a 28 day "vacation" in Social Networking Rehab.

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Here is the resulting Public Service Announcement. Thanks to the patience of soon to be patients: Todd Van Hoosear, Chris Brogan, Jesse Baer, Jeff Glasson, Jeff Pulver, Scott Monty, Joe Cascio, Ann Handley, Michelle Wolverton, Nate Aune, and Doug Haslam. For your cooperation, you are all entitled to one free group therapy session during your next stay at INVITATIONS.



Send this video to your phone. Click the button

or Text "JeffSass PSA3" to "69937" (MYXER)

Day 72: The Perils of Twitter and Social Networking - A Public Service Announcement

In order to earn some merit points toward some time on-line here at the INVITATIONS Recovery Facility, I volunteered for a study on some of the Medical Side Effects of Social Networking Addiction. The results of the study were quite shocking (though in retrospect, perhaps predictable). This has the potential to be far more serious than Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and may cause you to think twice before sending your next mobile Twitter Tweet! Here is the Important Public Service Announcement just released by the Staff of INVITATIONS.



Special Thanks to my fellow present or soon to be admitted INVITATIONS Inmates who appear in the PSA, including Jeff Pulver, Chris Brogan, Seth Harwood, Ed Roberts, Laura "Pistachio" Fitton

UPDATE: Send this video to your phone! Text "JeffSass PSA2" to "69937" or click the button:

Day 61: A Seesmic Shift... or a Social Networking Speedball?

What's an addict to do? It has been 61 days since I started the "program" and while I have experienced fleeting moments of social networking sobriety (mostly when asleep, or confined to an aircraft cruising at 30,000 feet) I still find myself lured back into the dark world of Twitter. As I wander the streets, Treo in hand, it seems there is an @somebody on every corner, teasing and taunting me to just give them 140 characters for a fix...

A Seesmic Shift

Now there's a new drug of choice (isn't there always!) If tapping a vein with Text is not enough to get you off anymore, you can feed the demon with VIDEO using Seesmic. Why think and type when you can make funny faces and talk right into your webcam??? Better yet, my Seesmic Videos go directly into my Twitter feed. What a rush! Who needs Heroin and Cocaine to get high... Seesmic and Twitter is my Social Networking Speedball!

Thanks to my new "dealer", Loic Le Meur, I am feeling a bit trapped, and will have to extend my stay at INVITATIONS...



Video by @sass. "Shift" Photo Credit: charles taylor - Fotolia.com

Day 43: Top 10 Reasons YOU Need Social Networking Rehab

(This post was inspired by Laura Fitton (@pistachio) and Lorri Randle (@mediajoltz) while we were Tweeting things up together in Ontario at the PNME. If you can say "YES" to four or more of the items below, then YOU should seriously consider joining me for an extended stay at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility.)

Top 10 Reasons YOU Need Social Networking Rehab:

10. You have tried to email or IM someone by typing "@theirname".

9. You had to Friend your Physician on Facebook in order to make a Doctor's appointment.

8. You know who Robert Scoble is.

7. Without counting, you can instinctively form cohesive sentences of 140 characters or less.

6. You know who Dave Winer is and don't think RSS is a Cruise Line.

5. You have Twittered someone while they were physically less than 10 feet away from you.

4. You don't think Steve Rubel was one of the founders of STUDIO 54.

3. You left your baby in a car seat on the roof of your minivan because you were responding to an @Yourname Tweet on your Blackberry.

2. You are stressed out trying to figure out how to fit all your Facebook friends at the table for Thanksgiving.

And the number 1 reason YOU need Social Networking Rehab...

1. You are reading this post (and you linked to it from a Twitter message!)


Photo Credit: hazel proudlove - Fotolia.com

Day 42: Breakfast of Champions???

When my therapist here at the INVITATIONS Social Networking Recovery facility granted me a short leave to go have breakfast with Jeff Pulver at Mo's Bagel & Deli, I had no idea it would lead to a stiff reprimand and a complete re-evaluation of the state of my recovery and the seriousness of my addiction. Unfortunately, chronic blogger that he is, Jeff P. had his camera along with his toast, and thanks to his little video, my recovery is toast too! Jeff documented my admission of what I was really doing during my recent trip to Ontario California, which was like a visit to a Twitter revival meeting. Really, the New Media Expo was like a Crackhouse for Twitter users.

Thanks to Jeff posting his video of me on YouTube, I was found out by the staff here at INVITATIONS. They now have me on a 24/7 Twitter-watch.

Thanks alot Jeff! You have single handedly PULVER-ized my chances of ever getting out of here again!

Day 40: PNME - Convention or Crackhouse?

It's Day 40 of Social Networking Rehab and I am a twittering mess -- literally and figuratively. I feel like I have taken 12 steps forward... and 40 steps backward! What happened to my will power? My discipline? My text messaging bill???

WHO EVER HEARD OF ONTARIO CALIFORNIA? OBVIOUSLY TWITTER USERS!

I met very few Canadians in Ontario, but there were Twittizens everywhere. It was inescapable. People were not asking for business cards or phone numbers, they were clinking their Blackberries and iPhones together and asking "Who are you on Twitter?" If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say "@" I'd be rich enough to buy the Twitter team some servers that actually work! As I said in this recent Twittergram, attending the the Podcast and New Media Expo was like being in a Crackhouse for Twitter users. It was insane! People strolled aimlessly through the halls of the convention center, thumbing away on their portable device of choice as if it was a divining rod leading them to their next destination. And it WAS! If you followed the popular Twitter streams you knew EXACTLY where everyone was, and what they were doing... what they were eating, drinking, who they were talking to, what they were wearing, who they were stalking, who was stalking them, where they were going to be in five minutes, in ten minutes, a week from Tuesday. The information flowing through the Twitter stream at PNME was flooding the banks of my sanity!

WHAT'S AN ADDICT TO DO???

Seeking refuge I ducked into one of the conference sessions. The Steve Garfield, Vlogger extraordinaire, was standing at the podium, about to give a dissertation on creating, editing, and posting your own Video Blog. Perfect. I could relax, free of all the bad influences of the Twitter enablers. I let out a well deserved sigh of relief, forgot about Twitter, and sat back in my chair to listen and watch a master display his craft.

NOT SO MUCH!

What does Steve do? He uses TWITTER as his subject! Yes kids, to demonstrate making your own video, the venerable @stevegarfield decided to create "TWITTER: THE MOVIE!" live, from the PNME vlogging session. And better yet, like lightning striking twice, Steve glances out into the crowd and picks ME to be one of the "actors" in his Twitter production. Alanis Morissette, are you listening? THIS is IRONIC! A recovering Social Networking Addict, who's drug of choice is Twitter, is randomly chosen to star in "TWITTER: THE MOVIE!"

No wonder my 28 days are now up to 40!!!





Photo Credit: Dima - Fotolia.com

Day 29: A Token of Depreciation...

It's Day 29! Where's my bleepin' keychain??? I was politely told by the staff here at INVITATIONS that I did NOT earn my 28 days of Social Networking sobriety Token. I DID get a TechCrunch token, but that was part of the problem. You see, I was granted an outpatient leave to attend the TechCrunch40 conference in San Francisco. I promised to be on my best behavior and stay clean... I swore to my sponsor that I was going on a business trip and I would NOT be using Facebook or Twitter. Yeah right...

"THE HALLS ARE ALIVE... WITH THE SOUND OF TWITTER..."

How could a Social Networking addict resist such temptations? I had barely arrived at the Palace Hotel when I ran into @chrisbrogan - a Twitter Rockstar! Then, my lips still moist from kissing Brogan's ring, who do I see standing in the hallway but @scobleizer, Twittizen extraordinaire! As one of more than 5,ooo @strangers that Robert Scoble follows, I knew he would surely be delighted to meet ME! After all, we are tight, Scoble and I. I was practically right there with him at the birth of his beautiful new son, Milan. I knew all about the new camera he had around his neck. We've bonded 140 characters at a time, countless times!

WAGON? WHAT WAGON???

TechCrunch40 was gonna be great... and without hesitation, my rehab went out the window. I snuck into a dark corridor of the Palace, where I saw Fatblogger Jason Calacanis sneaking an oatmeal raisin cookie. We shared a knowing nod, and as soon as Jason left, wiping the telltale crumbs off the corners of his mouth, I dug deep into my pocket and withdrew my fix. My trusty Treo 755p. In moments I felt release. I was in. I was Twittering about my encounters with my fellow Twittizens at TechCrunch. Ahhhh...

TWEETUP IN MEATSPACE!

My addiction reached new heights in San Francisco, as I extended my abuse beyond cyberspace and into "meatspace" by attending my first TweetUp -- a gathering of humans who, freed from the constraints of keyboards and SMS are enabled to share food, drink, and even speak in lengthy sentences. Yes, at a TweetUp you get to meet the Characters behind the 140 characters. Talk about a rush! It was great to see so many @'s in person. @CreativeSage even wore her iconic "hat" from her Facebook and Twitter profile pics, adding another dimension to the experience.

So, it is quite clear that my recovery will take far longer than 28 days... but I will get that Token or Keychain sooner or later! (And when I do, I will let you know by Twittering about it!)

Day 12: Forced Downtime

This morning I had breakfast with my Rehab Counselor. It seems I have been forgiven for my "poking" and "powncing" comments. Even so, I chose my words very carefully when I told her I wanted an iPod TOUCH! I don't need any more harassment charges against me.

She asked how I was doing and I told her I hadn't toyed with Twitter for at least 8 hours. She seemed pleased with my progress. Of course, she has no idea that the only reason I haven't been Tweeting my brains out is because TWITTER IS DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE.

Perhaps I should ask her if the Rehab Facility has a SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY???