May We Have The Twitter Addiction Envelope Please: And the Weiner Is...

As evidenced by the oft re-tweeted member of New York's own member of Congress, @RepWeiner, there is no question that Twitter Addiction is on the rise (as was said member).  Try as we might, we can no longer remain flaccid whilst the Twitterverse stands aroused by this latest battle of the (Congressman's) bulge.  As Congressman's Weiner proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, Twitter Addiction is hard.

An Award From The Ward

With all the media atwitter with the sordid deets of Representative Weiner's Tweets, the size and scope of the matter was not lost on the staff at INVITATIONS.  When the highly trained doctors and therapists here gathered in the West Wing of the Scoble Ward to discuss nominations for the guest of honor keynote at this year's annual Intervention Convention, there was only one unanimous choice: Anthony Weiner.  Who better to be invited to speak to a crowd of loyal followers only to find themselves the object of a massive intervention? If that won't spank the monkey on the Congressman's back, nothing will.

Case Clothed

While we hope that Congressman Weiner will take our INVITATIONS intervention invitation to heart, understanding that he may still be in the denial stages of his disease, the staff at INVITATIONS has compiled a few steps from the "140 Steps To Cure Twitter Addiction" that may be helpful to the Congressman as he softly embarks on a road to recovery:

• Step 1 - Do NOT touch a computer or mobile phone unless fully clothed.
• Step 2 - Do NOT Tweet with one hand.... ever!
• Step 3 - Do NOT send out a Tweet that you would not happily recite to your wife and/or Nancy Pelosi.

These are just a few small steps that may help prevent any Twitter boners in the future...

What additional steps would you recommend for the Congressman?

(Editor's Note: Trying to fight my addiction, as an INVITATIONS outpatient I have resisted the urge to post here since the end of last year, but alas, it is too out of character for me to resist the appeal of 140 characters.  More importantly, on behalf of the staff here at INVITATIONS I am compelled to think of the greater good and once again promote our services as the nation's first, and leading Social Networking Addiction Recovery facility.  In other words, "I'm Baaaack!")  

Photo Credit: Kerioak - Fotolia.com

Top 10 Reasons I Am STILL Addicted To Twitter (and Social Networking)

Hello, my name is Jeff and lo and behold, I am still an addict...

It has been a while since I've written here.  Mostly because I thought I was cured. I thought I had kicked the habit.  I thought I was safely on the wagon.  I thought my character had advanced beyond the need for 140 characters.  I thought my status had been elevated above the need to constantly update my status.  I thought I could wait for the DVD to see THE SOCIAL NETWORK.  I thought I was strong enough to resist temptation, to turn down the inviting lure of the Twittersphere... to face-off against Facebook... but alas, I was wrong.

As the decade of social networking decadence winds down, I find myself back in need of a visit to Social Networking Rehab.  To prepare myself for a fresh start in 2011, I am in need of another visit to INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility...  I came to understand my need for an intervention as I reflected upon the year past and discovered, much to my own chagrin...

THE TOP 10 REASONS I AM STILL ADDICTED TO TWITTER (and SOCIAL NETWORKING)

10. When booking a hotel room recently, I asked if the HOOTSUITE was available.

9.  Every-time I hear that there has been an earthquake somewhere in the world I wonder how strong it was on the SEESMIC scale (and I am in awe that @Loic has time to study Geology and run LeWeb...)

8.  When filling out a loan application and they asked for "NET WORTH" I entered my KLOUT score.

7.  I have 50 Apps on my Android phone, and 25 of them are TWITTER CLIENTS.

6. When I order potatoes at a restaurant I insist that they must be MASHABLE.

5. I have come to believe that my middle initial is "@" (Jeff @Sass)

4. I have seen the FAIL WHALE more times than there are pages in MOBY DICK.

3. When I want to know where my kids are and what they are doing, I go to their FACEBOOK pages first.

2.  I look for a "LIKE" button on items on the shelves at brick and mortar stores.

And the #1 Reason I am still addicted to Twitter and Social Networking...

1. I can't stop refreshing TWITTER to see how many times this post has been re-tweeted!

How about you?  Are you STILL addicted to Twitter and Social Networking???

Photo Credit: © Vladir09 - Fotolia.com, © fizzgig - Fotolia.com

140 Small Steps For Man (And A Giant Leap For Social Networking Rehab)

As announced here, early in 2010 we will be publishing an eBook of "140 Steps To Cure Your Twitter (and Social Networking) Addiction" and we are looking for YOU to help us compile the 140 best steps toward recovery.  So please, look in the mirror, admit you have a problem, and then SHARE your suggested road to rehabilitation in the comments below, or in the comments at this post.

The staff at INVITATIONS started collecting steps for the book at a recent Miami Tweetup and we present a few of your suggestions in this Public Service Announcement:



Thanks to Jeff Pulver, Chris Heuer, Kristie Wells, Yvette Ferry, Alex DeCarvalho, Maria De Los Angeles, and everyone else who was willing to raise their hand and face their addiction head on...

To be continued...

140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction

12 steps are clearly not enough to address the ravages of Social Networking Addiction. With mobile phones placing Twitter and Facebook in our pockets, and everyone we ever associated with from grade school to grad school now friending and tweeting us 24/7 with all things arcane, mundane and inane, it is virtually impossible to escape the allure of the drug we call "Social Networking." 12 Steps - the traditional guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery - may work for substance abuse, but they can't hold a ceremonial candle to the substantial abuse that is Social Networking addiction.

YOUR INVITATION FOR HELP

For several years now the staff at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Recovery facility, have recognized that the original 12 steps were challenged when it comes to Social Media. For example, Step 8, "Make a list of all the persons we harmed with our addiction..." was great until Twitter added the new LISTS feature. Once our patients started using Twitter Lists to create lists of the folks their addiction affected "Step 8" lost some of its healing luster. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, patients who thought @Scobleizer was their higher power were devastated when he went and unfollowed everyone, cutting the cult of Scoble off at the knees. We may be able to admit we are powerless over Social Networking and that our lives have become unmanageable, but we need more than 12 steps to lead us to the light. We need 140 steps to cure Social Networking Addiction, and we need your help to develop them.

STEP UP AND ADD A STEP!

Who better to develop a 140 step program than the folks who will benefit the most from it. Who better to define the cure than those suffering from the disease. Who better to help me come up with 140 clever and witty steps to a clean, social networking free existence than those whose very existence is dominated by social media. That's right, YOU!

If you are in need of Social Networking Rehab, you can join in and help us create the definitive 140 Step Program. Please add your suggested step in the comments. Between now and the end of the year we will be collecting, reviewing and testing your steps on the patients at INVITATIONS. Then, in January 2010, we will ring in the New Year by publishing an eBook detailing "140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction" with the best of your submissions.

What steps are you taking to cure your Social Networking habit??? Please share them in the comments and you will have the chance to be included in the eBook next year! If you have friends who are addicted (and you know you do) please share this and ask them to contribute their "Steps" too!

UPDATE: We have released a new PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT video, with some steps recommended by some of you at a recent Miami TweetUp.

Photo Credit: © chinti - Fotolia.com