Day 191: 10 Ways To Handle Quitting Twitter Cold Turkey!

Whether your doctor has told you to cut out Social Networking, or you are just faced with feeling down because (once again) Twitter is down, here are some things you can do to satisfy your urges while "off Twitter." All of these methods have been carefully devised by the highly trained staff at the INVITATIONS Social Networking Recovery Facility.

10 Ways To Ease The Pain of Quitting Twitter Cold Turkey:

1) Eat lots of Peas!

2) Refer to all your cubicle mates, friends and family by "@" Firstname.

3) Buy a pet bird (to keep Tweeting for you).

4) Limit your email messages to 140 characters and make believe they are Tweets.

5) Send SMS messages to yourself describing the meal you just ate.

6) Convert every URL in your browser history into a shorter URL with TinyUrl... then try to guess which TinyUrl connects to what website... just for fun!

7) Print little stickers of your Twitter avatar and PeaVatar and use them in lieu of stamps on all your snail mail. What is "Snail Mail" you ask? Nevermind.

8) Refer to your favorite candy as a SNITTER bar.

9) Call your physician and ask if he can write you a referral for a TweetScan.

10) Go to SXSW since EVERYONE on Twitter will be there and you can actually talk instead of Tweet!

Of course, if the above suggestions still leave you with pangs of Twitter desire, you can apply for admission to a TweeTox program at INVITATIONS.

"When Twitter is offline our staff is on duty!"

Please add your own Twitter Withdrawal suggestions in the comments, and take the new poll on the sidebar!

Day 127: Breakfast of ChamPEAons!

As my 28 days of Social Networking Rehab have become 127, it is clear that 12 steps is a much greater distance than it sounds like. In the old days, a guy would walk a mile for a Camel. Today, I'd walk a lot farther than that to find a decent Internet connection to check my Twitter and Facebook accounts!

"Social Networks are the new Nicotine and Twitter is my favorite brand of smokes!"

THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS

As proven by the popularity of PodCamps, BarCamps, TweetUps, Social Media Breakfasts and other "events," it seems that those of us who are truly addicted to Social Networking like to hang out together (mostly to compare digital cameras, Blackberries and mobile phones as we Twitter, Seesmic and Utterz "live" to everyone else who is NOT there).

But Social Networking Addiction is not always a bad thing. In addition to keeping the staff at INVITATIONS gainfully employed, social networking addicts, by nature of their close and constant connections, are perfectly positioned to join forces and rally for a cause. If we are going to fall off the wagon, we might as well join the bandwagon! And join the bandwagon we did! (and for a very worthy cause)

GOING GREEN IS NOT AN AL GORE EXCLUSIVE!

Peas. Peas, not global warming, is the cause that has caused the greening of Twitter. At this point, if you don't know what I am talking about you are either a pea-brain, or you are clearly not enough of a social networking addict to be considered for admission to rehab at INVITATIONS. (Okay, I apologize for the pea-brain comment. That was uncalled for - hey, I'm an addict, AND I can't resist a corny pun... It is GOOD if you didn't know what I was talking about beforehand, because NOW you do! Please forgive me and read on...)

Peas have become Twitter's pink ribbon of support for those facing the challenges of cancer, inspired by a fellow Twittizen, Susan Reynolds (@susanreynolds) and her own unexpected breast cancer diagnosis earlier this month. The frozen peas Susan used to comfort herself physically have become the symbolic peas we have added to our Twitter avatars (Pea-Vatars) to comfort Susan in other ways.

With peas on the brain (I guess I am the pea brain!) the INVITATIONS Social Networking Recovery Facility is pleased to be the sponsor of a new "Pea-S-A" Public Service Announcement, shot on location at the RASCAL HOUSE in Sunny Isles Beach, Florida. Thanks to fine Twittizens Jeff Pulver (@jeffpulver), Florian Seroussi (@florianseroussi), Steven Buehler (@revtriste) and Jonathan Gluck (@JonGluck) for their apPEArance in the segment.

And please, after watching the Pea-S-A, visit www.frozenpeafund.com and see how you can contribute. Pretty peas?




Video By Jeffrey Sass. Peas in a Spoon photo by Ashley Whitworth, Fotolia.com

Send This Video to your PHONE! Text "JEFFSASS PeaSA" to 69937 (MYXER) or click below:

More videos from JWS at Myxer!

Day 113: Twitter Withdrawal? Register for help here!

Last Friday may have been the day that lives in Infamy, but today is the day that may cause serious pain for a lot of otherwise happy Twittizens. Why? As noted in the screenshot above, Twitter will be down for 12 HOURS!!! (UPDATE: The planned outage was a non-event and re-scheduled for Sunday, December 16...)

Holy Withdrawal Pains Batman, what's an addict to do???

It is ironic that this planned Twitter outage comes only days after Jeremiah Owyang caused a TwitPlosion of activity with his provocative blog post entitled "Some Conversations Have Shifted To Twitter." This shifty blog entry, with more than 400 comments from Twittizens desperately seeking more followers, has perhaps unintentionally made the honorable Jeremiah one of our generation's leading enablers of Twitter addiction.

Help Is On The Way! Get Your INVITATION!

The marketing brains here at INVITATIONS realize that this "twouble with twitter" may cause an unusually high demand for Social Networking Rehabilitation services this weekend. With that in mind we are hosting an Open House today and will be accepting any and all applications for admission to the INVITATIONS Clinic.

Our Patient Registration Form is below. Please click on it to view, download and print a copy. You may Fax your completed form to (484) 737-5174. While all applications will be accepted during today's Open House, beds will be assigned on a first come, first served basis.

As a professional courtesy, we have already set aside the Invitations "Presidential" and "Royal" suites for Jeff Pulver and Doug Haslam.

Read this doc on Scribd: INVITATIONS FORM b

UPDATE: It is Saturday at 4:10pm EST and Twitter has yet to go down. Despite the numerous countdowns and refreshes by the faithful addicts, it appears the rumors of Twitter's temporary demise were greatly exaggerated!

Day 107: Get Your INVITATION! The Steps to Social Networking Rehab

Clearly my rehabilitation is not going well. 28 days has turned into 107 and I am still battling my Social Networking Addiction. The good news is that I am not alone. The beds at INVITATIONS are full, and the waiting list for admittance is growing faster than a line of geeks at an Apple store the night before a new product release.

GETTING PULVER-IZED

I was recently in Boston and had the chance to attend one of Jeff Pulver's Real-Time Social Networking events. With "live" human poking and tagging and everyone wearing Name Tags with their Twitter or Facebook names, this might as well have been an official SNAA (Social Networking Addicts Anonymous) meeting. Of course, by definition, a group of SOCIAL networkers are hardly anonymous! With Jeff P as the fearless leader, the event was an outstanding recruitment vehicle for INVITATIONS. Camera in-hand, I seized the moment to interview a number of folks who are ripe for a 28 day "vacation" in Social Networking Rehab.

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Here is the resulting Public Service Announcement. Thanks to the patience of soon to be patients: Todd Van Hoosear, Chris Brogan, Jesse Baer, Jeff Glasson, Jeff Pulver, Scott Monty, Joe Cascio, Ann Handley, Michelle Wolverton, Nate Aune, and Doug Haslam. For your cooperation, you are all entitled to one free group therapy session during your next stay at INVITATIONS.



Send this video to your phone. Click the button

or Text "JeffSass PSA3" to "69937" (MYXER)

Day 72: The Perils of Twitter and Social Networking - A Public Service Announcement

In order to earn some merit points toward some time on-line here at the INVITATIONS Recovery Facility, I volunteered for a study on some of the Medical Side Effects of Social Networking Addiction. The results of the study were quite shocking (though in retrospect, perhaps predictable). This has the potential to be far more serious than Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and may cause you to think twice before sending your next mobile Twitter Tweet! Here is the Important Public Service Announcement just released by the Staff of INVITATIONS.



Special Thanks to my fellow present or soon to be admitted INVITATIONS Inmates who appear in the PSA, including Jeff Pulver, Chris Brogan, Seth Harwood, Ed Roberts, Laura "Pistachio" Fitton

UPDATE: Send this video to your phone! Text "JeffSass PSA2" to "69937" or click the button:

Day 61: A Seesmic Shift... or a Social Networking Speedball?

What's an addict to do? It has been 61 days since I started the "program" and while I have experienced fleeting moments of social networking sobriety (mostly when asleep, or confined to an aircraft cruising at 30,000 feet) I still find myself lured back into the dark world of Twitter. As I wander the streets, Treo in hand, it seems there is an @somebody on every corner, teasing and taunting me to just give them 140 characters for a fix...

A Seesmic Shift

Now there's a new drug of choice (isn't there always!) If tapping a vein with Text is not enough to get you off anymore, you can feed the demon with VIDEO using Seesmic. Why think and type when you can make funny faces and talk right into your webcam??? Better yet, my Seesmic Videos go directly into my Twitter feed. What a rush! Who needs Heroin and Cocaine to get high... Seesmic and Twitter is my Social Networking Speedball!

Thanks to my new "dealer", Loic Le Meur, I am feeling a bit trapped, and will have to extend my stay at INVITATIONS...



Video by @sass. "Shift" Photo Credit: charles taylor - Fotolia.com

Day 43: Top 10 Reasons YOU Need Social Networking Rehab

(This post was inspired by Laura Fitton (@pistachio) and Lorri Randle (@mediajoltz) while we were Tweeting things up together in Ontario at the PNME. If you can say "YES" to four or more of the items below, then YOU should seriously consider joining me for an extended stay at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility.)

Top 10 Reasons YOU Need Social Networking Rehab:

10. You have tried to email or IM someone by typing "@theirname".

9. You had to Friend your Physician on Facebook in order to make a Doctor's appointment.

8. You know who Robert Scoble is.

7. Without counting, you can instinctively form cohesive sentences of 140 characters or less.

6. You know who Dave Winer is and don't think RSS is a Cruise Line.

5. You have Twittered someone while they were physically less than 10 feet away from you.

4. You don't think Steve Rubel was one of the founders of STUDIO 54.

3. You left your baby in a car seat on the roof of your minivan because you were responding to an @Yourname Tweet on your Blackberry.

2. You are stressed out trying to figure out how to fit all your Facebook friends at the table for Thanksgiving.

And the number 1 reason YOU need Social Networking Rehab...

1. You are reading this post (and you linked to it from a Twitter message!)


Photo Credit: hazel proudlove - Fotolia.com