Acupuncturist Takes Pinterest Too Far

(Pittsburgh, Pinsylvania) February 20, 2012.  A 47 year-old Pinsylvania man has been arrested for aggravated assault after pinning 134 photographs to the body of an unsuspecting, but very patient, patient of the Always Accurate Acupuncture Center.  The suspect, Ivan Toopoke, is a licensed acupuncturist known for pointedly practicing his profession with piercing perfection prior to this point.  This is the first time he has been stuck with charges of needling a customer the wrong way.  

The patient, who's name has been withheld thanks to the privacy settings on her Facebook account, is a regular customer of the AAAC.  She dozed off during what was to be a routine session of stress relief sticking, only to awaken on pins and needles.  According to one witness, an apprentice acupuncturist, "I walked into the exam room with a cushion full of freshly sterililized needles, and there she was, covered head to toe with pictures of kitchen appliances, shoes, pasta dishes and Ikea Furniture, pinned to her as if she was a human pin-board.  It was shocking."

The witness's reference to human pin-board was on point, as it turns out.  Investigators who confiscated Mr. Toopoke's office computer found evidence of an obsession with the popular on-line pin-board, Pinterest.  Toopoke had set up more than 750 "boards" and had personally pinned or repinned more than 150,000 images since signing up for the sticky social network six days ago.  According to Detective Dick Richardson, "it appears that Mr. Toopoke was addicted to this Pinterest thing to the point where he could no longer distinguish between digital pins and real pins.  In his mind, his brutally abusive acupuncturing of this patient was merely a means of sharing the things he loves."

When asked about the source of the 134 images pinned to the victim, Detective Richardson noted that CSI's involved in the case had photographed for evidence a large refrigerator in the Acupuncture Office that was suspiciously devoid of any cut out pictures on it, despite the presence of a large number of small magnets.  The acupuncturist Toopoke may face jail time as well as revocation of both his acupuncturist license and his Pinterest account.  He has been sent to the prominent Social Networking Rehab facility, INVITATIONS, for observation.  The victim is expected to fully recover, and has asked if she could keep several of the photos of shoes and furniture for future reference.

A spokesperson for Pinterest was not available for comment on the incident.

Photo Credit: © Eric Isselée - Fotolia.com

Social Media Addiction Update: Google + and MySpace Minus

Most businesses rely on supply and demand, and the Social Networking Rehab business is no different. Fortunately, with the continued growth of Twitter, Facebook and other social networks, there has been no shortage of needy patients to fill the beds at INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere social networking recovery facility. For the past four years we have helped countless geeks and early adopters beat their need to tweet and revoke their desire to poke. Our highly trained staff has mastered the 140 steps needed for rehabilitation from the scourge of Social Networking addiction. However, we are presently faced with a new challenge putting stress on the status update... There's a new drug in town, and it's being spread by an all-powerful dealer who already has its runners and gang members on the digital corners of everyone's neighborhood. The new addiction is to something bigger than even the behemoth Google. The new addiction is Google +.

Pluses and Minuses

Google + is already running circles around the other addictive social networks. Formerly reformed Social Networking addicts such as Robert Scoble and Chris Brogan have already been spotted spending hours huddling and hanging out in the digital alleyways of Google +. The seductive allure of G+ invitations via Gmail have lured countless others to throw caution to the wind and take a toke of the "G", just to "see what it's like..." Some are inhaling more than others. Some have already succumbed wholeheartedly to the perils of Google + and have been found wandering aimlessly through the Interwebs, leaving a sloppy trail of +1's in their self-destructive path. Interventions are already leading to applications for a stint of Social Networking Rehab. Beds at INVITATIONS are in high demand.

Making Space

Fortunately, we have good news for early adopters needing a little less "+." Due to a steady decline in patients suffering from MySpace addiction, the staff at INVITATIONS has decided to permanently close the MySpace wing and re-open it with a new program fully dedicated to serving patients whose over-dependence on Google + has become a minus in other aspects of their professional and personal lives. The opening of the Google + treatment program at INVITATIONS is already making waves in rehab circles and causing quite a buzz. If you, or someone you care about, is in denial about a Google + dependency, help is now just an INVITATION away.

May We Have The Twitter Addiction Envelope Please: And the Weiner Is...

As evidenced by the oft re-tweeted member of New York's own member of Congress, @RepWeiner, there is no question that Twitter Addiction is on the rise (as was said member).  Try as we might, we can no longer remain flaccid whilst the Twitterverse stands aroused by this latest battle of the (Congressman's) bulge.  As Congressman's Weiner proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, Twitter Addiction is hard.

An Award From The Ward

With all the media atwitter with the sordid deets of Representative Weiner's Tweets, the size and scope of the matter was not lost on the staff at INVITATIONS.  When the highly trained doctors and therapists here gathered in the West Wing of the Scoble Ward to discuss nominations for the guest of honor keynote at this year's annual Intervention Convention, there was only one unanimous choice: Anthony Weiner.  Who better to be invited to speak to a crowd of loyal followers only to find themselves the object of a massive intervention? If that won't spank the monkey on the Congressman's back, nothing will.

Case Clothed

While we hope that Congressman Weiner will take our INVITATIONS intervention invitation to heart, understanding that he may still be in the denial stages of his disease, the staff at INVITATIONS has compiled a few steps from the "140 Steps To Cure Twitter Addiction" that may be helpful to the Congressman as he softly embarks on a road to recovery:

• Step 1 - Do NOT touch a computer or mobile phone unless fully clothed.
• Step 2 - Do NOT Tweet with one hand.... ever!
• Step 3 - Do NOT send out a Tweet that you would not happily recite to your wife and/or Nancy Pelosi.

These are just a few small steps that may help prevent any Twitter boners in the future...

What additional steps would you recommend for the Congressman?

(Editor's Note: Trying to fight my addiction, as an INVITATIONS outpatient I have resisted the urge to post here since the end of last year, but alas, it is too out of character for me to resist the appeal of 140 characters.  More importantly, on behalf of the staff here at INVITATIONS I am compelled to think of the greater good and once again promote our services as the nation's first, and leading Social Networking Addiction Recovery facility.  In other words, "I'm Baaaack!")  

Photo Credit: Kerioak - Fotolia.com

Top 10 Reasons I Am STILL Addicted To Twitter (and Social Networking)

Hello, my name is Jeff and lo and behold, I am still an addict...

It has been a while since I've written here.  Mostly because I thought I was cured. I thought I had kicked the habit.  I thought I was safely on the wagon.  I thought my character had advanced beyond the need for 140 characters.  I thought my status had been elevated above the need to constantly update my status.  I thought I could wait for the DVD to see THE SOCIAL NETWORK.  I thought I was strong enough to resist temptation, to turn down the inviting lure of the Twittersphere... to face-off against Facebook... but alas, I was wrong.

As the decade of social networking decadence winds down, I find myself back in need of a visit to Social Networking Rehab.  To prepare myself for a fresh start in 2011, I am in need of another visit to INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility...  I came to understand my need for an intervention as I reflected upon the year past and discovered, much to my own chagrin...

THE TOP 10 REASONS I AM STILL ADDICTED TO TWITTER (and SOCIAL NETWORKING)

10. When booking a hotel room recently, I asked if the HOOTSUITE was available.

9.  Every-time I hear that there has been an earthquake somewhere in the world I wonder how strong it was on the SEESMIC scale (and I am in awe that @Loic has time to study Geology and run LeWeb...)

8.  When filling out a loan application and they asked for "NET WORTH" I entered my KLOUT score.

7.  I have 50 Apps on my Android phone, and 25 of them are TWITTER CLIENTS.

6. When I order potatoes at a restaurant I insist that they must be MASHABLE.

5. I have come to believe that my middle initial is "@" (Jeff @Sass)

4. I have seen the FAIL WHALE more times than there are pages in MOBY DICK.

3. When I want to know where my kids are and what they are doing, I go to their FACEBOOK pages first.

2.  I look for a "LIKE" button on items on the shelves at brick and mortar stores.

And the #1 Reason I am still addicted to Twitter and Social Networking...

1. I can't stop refreshing TWITTER to see how many times this post has been re-tweeted!

How about you?  Are you STILL addicted to Twitter and Social Networking???

Photo Credit: © Vladir09 - Fotolia.com, © fizzgig - Fotolia.com

A Twitter Addict Takes The First Step...

I'm Jeff an I'm an addict. My drug of choice? Real-time data and the devices I use to suck in constant digital streams of data like so many virtual intravenous drips in the digital tubes that feed my my need.  Since I am an addict I behave like one, and thus I have let you down, you, my cohorts in Crime, my fellow social networking junkies... past, present and future patients of INVITATIONS.

How have I let you down?  First off, I have been neglecting this blog, selfishly feeding my own addictions, checking out of here while checking in to Foursquare and Gowalla.  Tweeting and re-tweeting instead of sharing with you here.  In December I invited you to contribute to a collection of 140 steps to cure your Social Media addiction, and many of you indeed did step up and share your tips for tackling Twitter.  Here are a few of your suggestions:

@mhillaert: I do have an addiction... and when I need to take a break, I have my friend hide my phone somewhere I will not be able to find it. That's the only way I can say good-bye for any significant period of time :)

@metzgerbusiness: Get a wife who calls you a dork and annoying for posting too often. Then do as I do - smile at her and post a comment about your wife thinking you're annoying for posting too many comments.

@stevegarfield: Travel somewhere with limited connectivity so you can realize that you don't need to be connected all the time. In Ireland you can go to a pub, enjoy a nice cold Guinness, and not check in on foursquare. You don't have to take a photo of the beer, and upload the photo to flickr, twitter and Yelp! You'll live without social media.

@alohalavina: No pockets to carry a phone when at the beach and no ringing allowed at the golf course. I have a great tan as a result.

These are all great ways to combat Social Media and Twitter addiction one Tweet at a time, but they are a long way from 140 Steps...

Please continue to add your steps to this post and as soon as I reach 140 Steps I will publish the ebook!  (Promise!) The fate of the Twitterverse is in your hands!  Together we can make a difference (or at least Tweet about it!)

Photo Credit: © fizzgig - Fotolia.com

140 Small Steps For Man (And A Giant Leap For Social Networking Rehab)

As announced here, early in 2010 we will be publishing an eBook of "140 Steps To Cure Your Twitter (and Social Networking) Addiction" and we are looking for YOU to help us compile the 140 best steps toward recovery.  So please, look in the mirror, admit you have a problem, and then SHARE your suggested road to rehabilitation in the comments below, or in the comments at this post.

The staff at INVITATIONS started collecting steps for the book at a recent Miami Tweetup and we present a few of your suggestions in this Public Service Announcement:



Thanks to Jeff Pulver, Chris Heuer, Kristie Wells, Yvette Ferry, Alex DeCarvalho, Maria De Los Angeles, and everyone else who was willing to raise their hand and face their addiction head on...

To be continued...

140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction

12 steps are clearly not enough to address the ravages of Social Networking Addiction. With mobile phones placing Twitter and Facebook in our pockets, and everyone we ever associated with from grade school to grad school now friending and tweeting us 24/7 with all things arcane, mundane and inane, it is virtually impossible to escape the allure of the drug we call "Social Networking." 12 Steps - the traditional guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery - may work for substance abuse, but they can't hold a ceremonial candle to the substantial abuse that is Social Networking addiction.

YOUR INVITATION FOR HELP

For several years now the staff at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Recovery facility, have recognized that the original 12 steps were challenged when it comes to Social Media. For example, Step 8, "Make a list of all the persons we harmed with our addiction..." was great until Twitter added the new LISTS feature. Once our patients started using Twitter Lists to create lists of the folks their addiction affected "Step 8" lost some of its healing luster. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, patients who thought @Scobleizer was their higher power were devastated when he went and unfollowed everyone, cutting the cult of Scoble off at the knees. We may be able to admit we are powerless over Social Networking and that our lives have become unmanageable, but we need more than 12 steps to lead us to the light. We need 140 steps to cure Social Networking Addiction, and we need your help to develop them.

STEP UP AND ADD A STEP!

Who better to develop a 140 step program than the folks who will benefit the most from it. Who better to define the cure than those suffering from the disease. Who better to help me come up with 140 clever and witty steps to a clean, social networking free existence than those whose very existence is dominated by social media. That's right, YOU!

If you are in need of Social Networking Rehab, you can join in and help us create the definitive 140 Step Program. Please add your suggested step in the comments. Between now and the end of the year we will be collecting, reviewing and testing your steps on the patients at INVITATIONS. Then, in January 2010, we will ring in the New Year by publishing an eBook detailing "140 Steps To Cure Your Social Networking Addiction" with the best of your submissions.

What steps are you taking to cure your Social Networking habit??? Please share them in the comments and you will have the chance to be included in the eBook next year! If you have friends who are addicted (and you know you do) please share this and ask them to contribute their "Steps" too!

UPDATE: We have released a new PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT video, with some steps recommended by some of you at a recent Miami TweetUp.

Photo Credit: © chinti - Fotolia.com

Feed Your Addiction With A Phoney Twitter

Virtually all of the Twitter Addicts we treat here at INVITATIONS have a mobile phone and use their phones to check in with Twitter. Ideally, we would like to therefore confiscate their phones upon arrival, however for various insurance and liability reasons we are not able to leave our visitors disconnected from their world outside of the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility. Fortunately, many of our "customers" have iPhones and thanks to AT&T their ability to get a decent network connection is sufficiently borked to limit their on-site tweeting while in recovery. For the non-iPhone patients, we have put strict limitations on their mobile phone use.

THE "DM" METHOD

In an effort to ease the pain of being weaned from Twitter, and preventing the sometimes serious side effects of twithdrawal, our own Dr. Dierichter Meisinger (known among the patients as "DM") has postulated that personalizing one's phone with Twitter related ringtones and wallpaper images can serve as sublimation for actually using Twitter on their phones. To prove his theory, Dr. Meisinger has assembled a collection of Twitter ringtones and wallpapers that we regularly use here at INVITATIONS. Patients following the DM method hear a Twitter song every time their phone rings, feeding their "need for Tweed" and reducing their desire to shirk all other worldly responsibilities in favor of their 140 character communications. It is still early in the study, but initial results seem promising.

YOU CAN PLAY ALONG AT HOME

As a courtesy and public service, we are making these twitterized mobile phone goodies available to you here, so that you can begin treating your own addictions by using the DM Method at home. Please use with care.

(Note: The ringtones and wallpapers below are made available via Myxer, where I work when I am not acting as proprietor of INVITATIONS. Click "Preview" to hear any of the ringtones.)

More from Feddi Twinz at Myxer

More from Gramz Unkut at Myxer

More from mr swag at Myxer

More from Lethal Prince of Da X at Myxer

More from KoolrPix Xpression at Myxer

More from KoolrPix Holidays at Myxer

The 7 Phases Of Twitter: A Chronology

If you are reading this, there is a good chance you, too, are addicted to Twitter. Why else would you be visiting something called Social Networking Rehab? If you came here because of a link in a Tweet, or a Facebook Status message you are even more deserving of a 28 day stay at INVITATIONS, the Nation's Premiere Social Networking Rehab Facility. You may want to take a moment to fill out an application.

TWITTER: A VICIOUS CYCLE

While for some of you Twitter may be your latest vice, many of the Twitterholics who have visited INVITATIONS have been around since the beginning and have been good Twittizens for several years. Over time it seems that our addiction takes us through a cycle of Twitter usage that represents the full circle of 140 character fixes. The therapists here at INVITATIONS have coined this cycle "The 7 Phases of Twitter" and herewith is a brief timeline of the 7 steps that may lead to your need for 12 steps!

THE 7 PHASES OF TWITTER:

Phase One: "What Are You Doing?
Your earliest Tweets, wherein we attempt to turn plain into pithy...

Example Tweet: "I am eating tuna fish on rye."

Phase Two: "The Announcement"
In this stage we realize that Twitter can be used to broadcast our other inane activities...

Example Tweet: "Hey, read my blog, will ya? www.mystupidblog.blogspot.com/readitwillya"

Phase Three: "The Conversation"
When other folks start replying to our inanities, we move to this stage and start @replying, boring the rest of the Twittersphere with the ability to follow only one half of a conversation...

Example Tweet: "@soandso Lol. Yeah, I agree! ;-)"

Phase Four: "The Missing Link"
WOW. Just because we are limited to 140 characters doesn't mean we can't link EVERYWHERE! Thanks TinyUrl, Bit.ly, etc...

Example Tweet: "Cool Site with cool stuff! http://tinyurl.com/fbrehab"

Phase Five: "Smokin' Hashtags"
As if sharing links weren't enough to make Twitter de.licio.us, we soon realize we can one-up URL shorteners and add searchable #hastags to our tweets!

Example Tweet: "Cool. I am going fishing today. #fishing #iloveboats #waterboundhookers"

Phase 6: "The Re-Tweet"
Why rely on our own cleverness when we are a click away from using someone else's wit for our own Twit!

Example Tweet: "RT @sass The 7 Phases of Twitter! (Awesome,, but why am I re-tweeting myself?)"

Phase 7: "What are you doing?"
And of course, after experimenting with broadcasting, conversating, sharing links, hashing things out, and spreading the word of others, we come back full circle to the simplicity of where it all started...

Example Tweet: "Wondering if I should Tweet that I am eating tuna fish on rye..."

Which phase are you in? Are there additional phases that should be added to the cycle?

Photo Credit: © Milos Willing - Fotolia.com

Doctors Announce First Successful Human FACEBOOK Transplant

(Palo Alto, California) May 25, 2009. A team of doctors and surgeons from the nation's leading medical institutions have joined forces to perform the world's first human Facebook transplant, it was announced today by Dr. Prayim Fomofriends, lead surgeon on the procedure. Dr. Fomofriends, on loan from the prestigious Mayo Naise Clinic in Boise, Idaho, called the groundbreaking surgery an undeniable success. The patient, who's identity is being kept confidential in accordance with prevailing Internet privacy policies, is recuperating at an undisclosed location, rumored to be INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Recovery Facility.

FROM FACES TO FACEBOOK

While to date there have been two well documented and successful human face transplants, this marks the first time doctors have successfully transplanted a Facebook account from one person to another, including all friends, news feeds, groups, and even such delicate details such as the Fun Wall and other inane applications. The patient is expected to recover fully and regain, in time, complete use of the new Facebook account, including poking, and eventually, the ability to update statuses, even from a mobile phone or linked Twitter account. The donor, who has elected to remain anonymous, is said to be a former "A-List" blogger who amassed a Facebook following of the maximum 5,000 friends and then became disillusioned by the limitation. In a prepared statement the donor commented, "I am just grateful that my so-called friends can now be put to good use in the account of someone who really needs them. I wish more people would consider becoming organization donors."

PROTESTING THE PROCEDURE

While the procedure has been heralded by some as a true medical breakthrough and an example of the future of cosmetic social surgery, as with anything controversial the transplant also has its detractors. Protesters have already gathered outside of the INVITATIONS recovery facility with signs claiming, "IF GOD HAD WANTED US TO TRANSPLANT OUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED PASSWORDS." Ironically, there are already several groups on Facebook that have been formed to rally against the medical community and denounce the transplanting of accounts. When interviewed, the leader of one of the protest groups, who refused to reveal his identity, stated, "This surgery is sacrilege! What's next? Surgically altering Twitter to allow messages of more than 140 characters??? Where do we draw the line???"

THE FACE(BOOK) OF THINGS TO COME

At a press conference held outside Facebook headquarters, Dr. Fomofriends was accompanied by a family member of the patient who tearfully stated, "Thanks to these amazing doctors, my unnamed relative can look forward to a full life ahead, rich with friends and a Facebook account they can hold high and be proud of. No more gawking and pointing at their weak and tattered account. No more pity pokes. It is truly a miracle!" Although the entire procedure was captured via Qik on Dr. Fomofriend's jail broken iPhone, because of the graphic nature of the surgery, it has not been decided if the images will be made publicly available. However, the patient has said they do plan to post everything to their new Facebook account once they are fully healed.

For more information about the surgery, or to place yourself on a waiting list for the procedure, please contact Dr. Prayim Fomofriends, care of INVITATIONS, or add your name in comment section for this article.

Photo Credit: © Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com

Beware Of Fake Twitter Addicts!

As Twitter has hit the mainstream, everyone from Actors such as Ashton Kutcher to TV personalities with only first names such as Oprah and Ellen to Politicians such as the Governator and his lovely wife Maria Shriver have all now become good Twittizens. They have joined the ranks of Shaq and Scoble, to smell like a Kevin Rose and whine like a Vaynerchuk, 140 characters at a time. All these characters are welcome additions to the social networking community, and should any of them fall prey to the siren song of constant status updates and find themselves "addicted" to Twitter, they will not have to worry as we have recently launched a celebrity wing at INVITATIONS, the nation's premiere Social Networking Rehab Facility.

NOT ALL TWEEPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL

While there are some celebrity Twittizens who are legitimately in need of Social Networking Rehab, the staff at INVITATIONS has been inundated with a rash of applications from some more dubious tweeters, claiming to be in need of help dealing with the pressures of maintaining their tens of thousands of followers, while at the same time engaging in, shall we say, less than sincere social networking practices. This behavior is not unlike someone "admitting" to having used marijuana, and then saying they never inhaled. Who would ever make such ridiculous claims???

The mission of INVITATIONS is to help those truly in need, and we have no patience to accept patients who are actually bot-bearing, auto-following, link-baiting, self-proclaimed "gurus." With that in mind, we have prepared a simple checklist to help you avoid inadvertently aiding a false addict:

TOP 10 WAYS TO IDENTIFY A FAKE TWITTER ADDICT

10. The words "SEO", "MONEY", "CASH", "PROFITS" or "WEIGHTLOSS" are part of their Twitter name...

9. You receive an immediate DM when you follow them back.

8. The DM you receive links to their SCAM, er, blog or website.

7. They follow thousands, have thousands of suckers, er, folks following them back, and they have posted 0 updates.

6. If they have posted updates, 99.9% of them contain a link to the same website or blog.

5. The only @replies they have are to other accounts they own ("self tweetillation" or "masturbatory tweeting.")

4. They NEVER Re-Tweet.

3. They Tweet about gaining 1,000's of followers "overnight" (and will show YOU how!)

2. Their profile image is a Dollar $ign.

And the number one way to identify a Fake Twitter Addict:

1. You end up HERE when you look for their Twitter profile!

How about you? Have you encountered any "fake" twitter addicts? If so, please tell us how you identified them in the comments!

Photo Credit: © Fullvalue - Fotolia.com

Day 484: Put Your Twitter Addiction To Good Use!

A Public Service Announcement:




For more information about @wellwishes, @tipjoy and how you can contribute $2.00 and feed your Twitter addiction at the same time, please visit Pistachio Consulting.

Special Thanks to Chris Heuer, Kristie Wells, Alex DeCarvalho, Alex Harris and everyone at the Social Media Club South Florida who participated in this PSA.

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Day 419: Twittolympics! Let The Games Begin!

During the summer, while the rest of you were vacationing, I was spending most of my time in Twitter Rehab here at INVITATIONS. During my most painful bouts of Twitter withdrawal, I had nothing much to do but watch TV and the popular summer mini-series about Michael Phelps (otherwise known as The Olympics). At the time, as I was Jonesing for an opportunity to Tweet, frankly, seeing Michael Phelps turn Mark Spitz's Gold Medal record into spittle was hardly a reasonable facsimile for staring at a flat screen monitor filled with pages of friendly tweets. What's an addict to do?

IF YOU CAN'T TWEET 'EM, JOIN 'EM!

As I fantasized about my next chance to sneak in a fix of Tweeting on my Treo or iPod Touch, I started to think about an alternate Olympics consisting of social media events - call it the "Twittolympics!"

Here are some of the events I imagined:

140 Character Sprint: How fast can you complete a 140 character Tweet. World record holder is @pistachio with 0 - 140 characters in 8.3 seconds!

140 Character Relay: Four athletes from each competing team hand off a Blackberry Curve duct-taped to a baton after completing a perfect 140 character Tweet. The current record holding "Dream Team" from USA features @scobleizer, @jasoncalacanis, @techcrunch, with the final leg held by @davewiner.

DM-athalon: The first contestant to complete a series of direct messages (with return responses) to each of three random Twittizens wins the gold. Current recorld holder is @leolaporte, who is annoyed at winning the one event without TWIT in its name...

Synchronized Tweeting: Competing teams must complete the same 140 character Tweet in unison (and at the same time!)

Twittathalon: The contestants must complete three consecutive Tweets, one from a Blackberry, one from a desktop PC, and finally one from an iPhone. The fastest combined time, with points off for misspellings, wins! Current record holder, @chrisbrogan, with one hand tied behind his back!

Tabletop Tweeting: Competitors must Tweet back and forth from both sides of a ping pong table, lobbing Twitter messages by tossing an iPhone across the net.

Twittathon: Competitors must complete a grueling course of 26 consecutive 140 character Tweets. Current world record holder is the UK's @mashable, who completed the course in less time than it took to down a pint of Guinness!

Disqus Throw: See how far you can toss your blog comments! Current record holder, by a mile, @fredwilson of the USA.

What do you think? Are you ready to go for the Twitter Gold? Are you ready to mettle with my Medals? What other social media events would you like to see in the Twittolympics? Please add your ideas in the comments.

And if you think you are ready for Twitter Rehab, you can fill out an application for INVITATIONS here.


Medals Photo Credit: MTC Media - Fotolia.com

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Day 366: The Year In Rehab Review

"They tried to make me go to Rehab, I said "No, No, No..."

-- Amy Winehouse


"They said I needed Twitter Rehab, I said "Yes, Yes, Yes!"

-- Jeffrey Sass

It has been a full year since I admitted myself to the INVITATIONS Social Networking Rehab facility. Several thousand tweets later I am still here. Wiser? Yes. Less addicted? Well...

A year ago there was the just the Twittergram. Today there are numerous services that put Twitter on steroids: Seesmic, Utterz, TwitPic, Qik, 12Seconds, and many more all seamlessly connect rich media to Twitter, creating a veritable social media speedball! Temptation is everywhere. And that is without even mentioning Facebook and Friendfeed! What's an addict to do???

IN THE BEGINNING...

How did I end up here? It all started with this video I posted to Facebook a year ago:





Having finally admitted I had a problem, I started on a 28 day journey that has lasted a year... I was fortunate to find INVITATIONS after getting rejected by PROMISES in Malibu for not being a Celebrity.

One of my first tasks after being admitted to rehab was to help produce a Public Service Announcement to promote INVITATIONS, and spread the word about the evils of Social Networking addiction.

Here is the PSA from last year:




Remember QUECHUP? It didn't matter if it was a scam or just spam, it was crushed by a community wide kabosh. If we only knew then what we know now. Although Twitter-bots and Twitter spam may now be on the rise, spam is only one of the Perils of using Twitter, as highlighted in another PSA:



So here I am, entering my second year of rehab with callouses on my Twitter fingers and a cap on the number of folks I can follow. Is that going to stop me from imbibing in my social media?

No way!